Soap Star Styles: Fashion Forward or Fashion Fail (Week of May 18th)

Hey fashion groupies and welcome to your favorite place to gab about all things GH fashion!! I hoped you missed me as much as I missed you! We are one week behind, but never fear! As we all know, it takes forever for the folks in Port Charles to change clothes and last week, everyone was either still in their ball gowns or naked so…on to this week, where I was pleasantly surprised.

Let’s begin with the misguided bitches of the week. I’ll start with Ana. I loved Ana’s black cape. It was stunning. All black, perfectly tailored with optional cape sleeves. Ana could’ve worn it with the sleeves, but instead chose the arm holes which gave the cape that, well, “cape” look. I’m all for a good cape; I think it’s bold and is completely on trend for the rest of our natural lives. However, Ana is a #fashionfail for one reason. I kinda hated the long sleeved white shirt underneath. If you’ve been following Ana’s story, you know that she has borderline crossed over to the dark side while avenging her dead love, Duke. I couldn’t stand the Mary Poppins-esque look that that damn shirt gave her. She looked really uptight and overdressed. I want her to look to be a little more edgy and less proper. She could’ve kept the cape and that pencil pant was stunning, but lose the sleeves please.

Sabrina Santiago wasn’t HORRIBLE this week but she didn’t impress me either. Ms. Santiago wore a simple, nice fitting jean with a pink and beige, loose fitted floral patterned shirt. Or whatever that pattern was. It was ok until she stood up. I really don’t like the shirt. It was almost the same color pattern as her Nurse’s ball gown and if you read this column regularly, you’d know that I hated that as well. The loose fit was ok but #fashionfail for the way it was worn. She tucked it in and I swear to God, it looked like she lost weight overnight because it hung so oddly in the front. If she had worn that shirt with a super fitted pant, I probably would like it 1000% more. Sabrina obviously was meant to be a nanny, because she can’t do sexy to save her life. I hope that changes soon. But until then, I will devise a scheme for her in my mind to obtain some Quartermaine money so she can take her ass shopping.

Kiki, Kiki, Kiki. Affectionately named “KaKa” by some of the best damn General Hospital fans in the world, she lived up to her nickname this week…again. OMG, did your mother teach you NOTHING?! Ok, I don’t particularly like Kiki, but that bitch is bold in her own way. You get married, fall in love with your husband’s brother, divorce, date the brother then hook back up with your ex-husband AFTER her turned your mom out and potentially got her pregnant? (Morgan is officially community dick. The Corinthos gene lives on.) Girl… If you wanna act like a bad bitch KiKi, we really need you to stop dressing like a naughty child. That blouse she wore should be illegal in all fifty states. Real shit. It was long sleeved and pink rose print all over. I mean ALL. OVER. And it was buttoned. I don’t think this bitch owns anything for the season that doesn’t have flowers on it. Sometimes, less is more when it comes to print. #Fashionfail KiKi. It looked like your shirt vomited roses. Ugh.

Among the travesties of the past couple weeks, there were many great looks. I’m gonna do this a bit differently this week. I’m starting off with my fashion muse of the week. Nina Clay is completely off her rocker, but if she chose that wedding gown then she’s not as crazy as we once thought. If you can’t see that Nina has the body of a goddess, check out Michelle Stafford’s Instagram. Can you say “ssssssmokin!” LOL. This ivory dress was fitted to absolute perfection. It was floor length with a drop waist. The dress featured tulle detail along the sweetheart neckline and around to the back. It had a flower applique/sequin detail on the left hip. My favorite part was the bustle-style train (Personal Note: If you have no ass and want a Coke bottle shape on your wedding day, find something with that train. It gives a totally different sillouhette.) To finish the look, Nina wore a rhinestone headband with her veil. #FashionForward as always, I’m a little jelly that I didn’t have that gown on my wedding day. Nina Clay, you better work bitch.

Now onto my true three #FashionForward looks. This week seemed to be the week of the LBD, or Little Black Dress. I just want to take this time to say that EVERY WOMAN SHOULD OWN A LITTLE BLACK DRESS! I don’t care if it’s up your ass, or on the floor, as long as it is black and flattering. Black looks good on everybody, no matter your skin tone. It screams sexy and confident. LBD1 was worn by Samantha Morgan. Sam gave us a different look this week than we are used to seeing on her. (She didn’t go too far, it was still black. But we’ll give credit where it’s due.) She wore a mini LBD with a structured cap sleeve. She paired high heeled sandals with the dress and minimal jewelry. I liked her dress a lot. I loved how the dress was tailored and fitted to her body and size. It looked like it was made for a petite person and it gave her a beautiful shape. The drama was subtle because only the upper back portion of her dress was sheer. You’d miss it if you were not looking. Out of all the little black dresses, Sam’s would rank 2 out of 3 for boldness. It was very classy though. I think she’s getting used to this Doctor’s Girlfriend thing LOL.

Carly Corinthos also wore an LBD this week. Come on. You didn’t think she WOULDN’T be wearing one right? Carly took the business route with her little black dress and I expected nothing less from the girlfriend of the most gangsta mobster in Port Charles. Carly’s LBD was sleeveless and knee length with a thin zipper detail down the back. Paired with any heeled shoes, this dress is very boss and neat. It wasn’t very showy, but it screamed “classy” which we’ve come to expect from her. She also wore minimal jewelry, which gave her dress all the attention. Carly’s dress is 3 out of 3 on my scale for boldness. Don’t misunderstand me. It was beautiful, but it didn’t make as big a statement as my last look.

Jordan Ashford rounds out the Battle of the LBD. If Nina had not worn that damn gown, Jordan would’ve been my muse. She took the Little Black Dress to another level by “gasp”…adding another color. At first glance, I thought her dress was solid black. But under the lights of the PCPD, I discovered that her dress was black AND navy blue. Jordan’s dress had black lace sleeves and black lace across the top back portion of the dress. The sleeves also had sheer detailing near the chest in the front. The body of this knee length dress was this deep, inky, navy blue color with black seam detailing down the front and the sides. It. Was. Stunning. I can almost forgive the fact that her hair was everywhere but where it needed to be because I’m so infatuated with this dress. She is 1 out of 3 in the LBD battle because she dared to add another color. It wasn’t a bold color, though. Jordan chose to keep the integrity of the LBD without it actually being an LBD. A little black dress CAN have color. Keep the color to a minimum or keep the color the same tone as the black. Jordan, you did me proud this week.

That’s it for this week. As always, thank you for reading! Let me know what you think, do you agree? Who wore the Little Black Dress better? See you back here next week!

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